I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
