We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
