i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
