the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
vagina is talking i cant
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
