I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
