wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
