No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
