she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
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I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
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I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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