hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
