pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
