Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
