I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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