perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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