i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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