even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
