Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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