Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's just like the Real World with babies
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
