I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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