Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
