how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
