How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
