he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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