Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
