I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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