i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
