Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
