You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
