Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
