real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
