i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
