i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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