if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
