cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
