How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
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