Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We took shots in honor of Shark Week.

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  (303): We took shots in honor of Shark Week. http://tfl.nu/tloc
  Replies (19) Good night (7712) Bad night (666)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Take that integrity

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  (216): So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever. (1-216): Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment. (216): Take that integrity http://tfl.nu/eyzw
  Replies (48) Good night (3138) Bad night (755)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.

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  (773): If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time. http://tfl.nu/xdpc
  Replies (14) Good night (4973) Bad night (836)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.

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  (705): Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell. http://tfl.nu/z3u3
  Replies (21) Good night (6343) Bad night (913)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.

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  (229): Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment. http://tfl.nu/tuh7
  Replies (39) Good night (12036) Bad night (921)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.

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  (570): Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice. http://tfl.nu/vtyg
  Replies (31) Good night (1216) Bad night (4776)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.

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  (520): She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes. http://tfl.nu/56a9
  Replies (19) Good night (9045) Bad night (1029)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.

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  (251): Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call. http://tfl.nu/u2ur
  Replies (8) Good night (1373) Bad night (4154)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs

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  (727): Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs http://tfl.nu/d5ya
  Replies (33) Good night (1124) Bad night (6991)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.

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  (609): Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year. http://tfl.nu/sxhu
  Replies (10) Good night (2434) Bad night (955)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.

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  (773): No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape. http://tfl.nu/zpzm
  Replies (6) Good night (2857) Bad night (651)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?

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  (206): Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now. (1-206): Auto correct or actual 3rd graders? http://tfl.nu/qie2
  Replies (8) Good night (1821) Bad night (1066)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong

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  (605): Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong http://tfl.nu/jxwn
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (311)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO

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  (717): also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO http://tfl.nu/0v8o
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (244)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner

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  (727): i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner http://tfl.nu/vzvw
  Replies (7) Good night (941) Bad night (189)

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