umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Brb crying the tears of my youth