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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.

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• (714): View more from California

  Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life

  (714): View more from California

  It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  How bad was it?

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.

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