I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
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Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
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he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot