im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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