Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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