Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
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and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
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My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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