Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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