I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
