Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
