I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
