You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
