do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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