These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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