Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just had sex bonerless
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
