Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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