every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
