We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
