she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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