nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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