I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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