The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
