I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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