Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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