Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can't turn off my feet"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
