Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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