who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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