ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
What a dumb baby whore.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
