Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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