On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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