You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
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Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
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Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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